So, Hi family! I feel very burdened today. I´m just going to come right out and say why.
As I've said before, I am doing great out here on the mission! But one thing that Elder Holland once said came true this week: that as missionaries, at some point during the mission we are going to have to feel the same sorrow that Christ felt for His lost or disobedient sheep.
One member of our ward that I have a really close relationship and friendship with asked to speak with us yesterday. We ended up spending about 3 hours at this person´s house, as he remorsefully confessed to a serious sin he committed recently. I am still in shock from it and am still not quite sure how to react. And only now, as I write it out, do I feel a little piece of the gravity and reality of the situation. I feel so much weight from this that my mind is completely occupied by it. And I feel very sorrowful for this person. I feel very sorrowful for what happened.
And now I am truly feeling, almost as if I were in this person´s shoes, the profundity of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We can proclaim and testify of it all we want, but when it actually comes down to applying it in our own lives...Do we really understand the depth of the Atonement? Do we really understand the Father´s love for each one of us? I don´t think we do.
But anyway, this experience just happened yesterday, so I´m still feeling quite impacted by it. But, as everything, I look forward to the healing and greater perspective ahead. The one that comes with more experience and the more obstacles we have the privilege of overcoming.
This week, I prepared a talk I thought I was going to give in Sacrament Meeting. The Elders in our ward spoke instead, but in this talk I re-learned many things.
First of all is the scripture we find in D&C 1:23. The weak and simple are called to proclaim the fullness of the gospel. So don´t be afraid!! How do we overcome that fear? First, obtain it. D&C 11:21 states that we must obtain it first, then proclaim with all the certain bits of conviction within us. Enoch was scared in Moses 6:31, but what did he do? He trusted the Lord. He entered among the people who despised him and proclaimed in a loud voice to all the people. He trusted that his voice would be filled, and they were. And the Lord was with him. Although rejected by men, he continued until....a city was taken up in righteousness: Zion.
Ahh I love the example of determination, trust, and bravery in that story. We have no reason to fear if we are prepared. So, I ask myself? Am I afraid of ___? If yes. Then what is it about the doctrine of Jesus Christ that I don´t understand? Then, search to understand it.
I love this Gospel!! I love the promises that are so concrete. Everything in the Gospel of Jesus Christ is just. It is black in white. And the truth is: "Despues de todo lo que se ha dicho, el mayor y más importante deber es PREDICAR EL EVANGELIO" - Joseph Smith.
As I mentioned, we met with Elder Waddell Thursday night and for about 6 hours Friday. Something he focused on is that, starting June 23, 2013, the sense of missionary had changed forever.
He focused a lot on the difference between missionary work BEFORE then, and missionary work NOW. He said, "The biggest lie of Satan in the world of missionaries is that our success as missionaries is based on the number of baptisms..." Okay... then he said, "Anyone that thinks this way is on the path to apostasy. PERIOD."
The work of salvation is now aimed toward the temple. He spoke pure DOCTRINE with us. It was empowering and completely relieving. Honestly, one of my biggest unsettlements was watching many people be baptized without the person even actually having a testimony. And it was unsettling to me. But, he said that, yeah the baptism is important, but without the covenants we make in the temples, it is all completely meaningless. Our goal is no longer to baptize investigators, but edify every single person, member, less active, recent convert, or not...to be able to get them to the temple.
The work of salvation is beginning to plant itself on higher grounds. My goal in the mission is to have many converts. True converts in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The bar has been raised. But we´re ready for it :) ejeje
Elder Waddell also spoke a little Thursday about the role of the Ward Mission Leader. He said that it should be an only calling. The order of importance is: Bishop, Secretary, and Ward Mission Leader. He said that the WML is as serious of a calling as being a missionary himself, and should always think of the work before his own self. It was intense.
Elder Waddell is also so funny. If we ever feel inadequate or like someone else who has a calling is unable to fulfill it well, this is his take on it, "The Lord took a huge risk calling us; we can take a little risk calling someone new or inexperienced in the gospel." The point was for everyone to have a calling...but only one calling. More than one calling at a time he said is false doctrine and must be changed.
Ooof he said a lot. I feel so much smarter now. jaja
But as he spoke with the authority that only an apostle of the Lord can portray, I felt such a great love of the organization and order of this church. I felt so much the need to raise the bar and live and serve with the Savior in mind, knowing that this is His church. And that we need to serve in the way to match it.
Also, MOM! I am finding out so much about you and the way we grew up!! Eating popcorn in soup? Who knew it was an "Ecuadorian thing"!! It´s awesome. Also, avoiding watermelon seeds because swallowing it would mean we would grow watermelon out our ears!! That´s also a motherly-Ecuadorian thing! Ohh these crazy quirks that we grew up with. Every time I mention or experience one of these quirks, I comment, "That´s what we did growing up!" And they laugh and say, "It is an Ecuadorian thing." I feel so Ecuadorian sometimes. ...And I think I understand you a little better too jajaja.
I love you all!!
I got to go to Volcano Park today!!! It was great. We accidentally rode a huge ship ride that was completely exhilarating. Ecuador is so beautiful and from this attraction, we were able to get a beautiful view of a piece of the city. So beautiful!!!
Love you all!!! HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK!!!! I know I willllll :) jajaja
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